New products and new ideas can go one of several ways: we can feel energized and excited, or retreating and threatened (and everything in between).
In yesterday's post I shared with folks an eye opener of an article explaining the immense social pressures of harboring an idea or thought that runs contrary to the group we associate with. It's why changing one's mind about anything is so hard.
We risk being an outsider to the group.
More than a few of my readers wrote to me rather upset about this observation. And I get it. We all respond differently to that which can potentially threaten us.
I'll give you a good example. For years I preached the gospel of servo controlling woofers. Preached and lived and breathed it. I designed multiple servo systems and was totaly invested in both the technology and the results.
Then Chris Brunhaver came along and proved me wrong. At first I felt threatened. Next I felt mournful for having invested a decade of my life to the cause.
Then I felt elated to have a new understanding.
What's fascinating is this whole business of learning and growing and accepting has a name associated with it by psychologists: the Stages of Change Model. And, of course, the process we go through sounds very familiar:
- Denial: At first, we may resist or dismiss the new idea outright. This is a protective response, as the new information feels threatening to our established beliefs, worldview, and associated groups we relate to. Who wants to feel like an outsider?
- Anger: As the new idea persists or becomes unavoidable, we might feel frustration or anger. This stage often involves grappling with feelings of dissonance because the new idea contradicts something we and our fellows deeply believe.
- Bargaining: Here, we try to find ways to reconcile the new idea with our existing beliefs. We might selectively accept parts of the new information or make mental compromises to maintain some stability in our worldview.
- Depression: Recognizing that our old belief may no longer hold can feel disorienting or disheartening, leading to feelings of sadness, confusion, or even a loss of identity and connection to the group.
- Acceptance: Finally, we either fully accept the new idea or reshape our beliefs to incorporate aspects of it. This stage brings a sense of mental harmony and relief as the tension resolves and we find the others that share this belief.
After stage 5 we realize we're not alone. There's another group we can belong to.
While I seek out this kind of knowledge that will reshape me and my belief system, others run as fast and far away as they can. That doesn't make one better than the other, it's just the differences in our build.
Each is needed in our society. Each of us is better off when we feel comfortable in our own shoes.
Being accepted by the others is built into our DNA.
I just find that it's helpful to know we're not alone on this journey.
