What will the audiophile section of heaven be like?
- You’ll have an endless supply of Black Gate capacitors of all types and values.
- Quads will always go low, play loudly, and never fail.
- All tubes are NOS Telefunken and they will never die.
- All FETs will be soldered in place by Nelson Pass, on loan from Earth.
- Cartridges will set their own VTAs.
- All DACs are R-2R designs.
- All transformers are made by angels.
- Cables do not matter, ever; but they are all really big and expensive.
- There is no feedback.
- Record cleaning fluid flows from a natural fountain, works flawlessly, tastes like The Macallan 25, and is totally organic.

More than one audiophile’s idea of sonic heaven: the Koetsu Rosewood Signature Platinum phono cartridge.
Header image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons/Joe Haupt.